Monday, June 1, 2009

The Belmar Pirate

Belmar is known for many things: being a staple of the Jersey Shore, a magnet for Guidos and Guidettes, empty bottles of hair products in the streets, overpriced pizza, and on this particular Friday the beginnings of a terrifying new breed - - - the Guido Pirate. 

You might be wondering what being a Guido Pirate entails, other than stealing all the booty on the Belmar beach. No where other than in the fist pumping capitol of America will you find a six-feet-tall chubby teenage italian with a pony tail of black hair hanging to his lower back. Not convinced with the pirate comparison yet? Well, he also had two hooped earrings, and spoke in a vernacular that featured the word 'fuck' every 4 to 7 words, while the whole time he had Verne Troyer's boom box on his chest. Oh yea, and the elastic on his boxers was covered with the word 'greed' (don't ask me why my girlfriend's eyes were gravitating to that general area).  

These are the things that make the Jersey Shore great and why we keep coming back for more. It's not only for the sun, sand, and ocean; it's for these jambronies that continue to make us laugh. Thank you Guido pirate.  

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